Sitting across the Table from Tyler in the diner was a delicious and welcomed treat. He and Bianca had returned to her apartment after the emergency room to shower and get dressed. They had made a quick stop at the mall so Tyler could pick up a few things to wear, in his haste to reach Austin he hadn't packed anything, and he had insisted on going to American Eagle Outfitters because he would only wear their jeans. Bianca was delighted that he wanted to pick some things up because it indicated his intent to stay for a little while, something she was reluctant to ask him about, unsure if she would be happy with the answer. From the mall to the supermarket for some toiletries then back to the apartment to put them to good use. He was groomed and shaven, his new slimmer figure no less gorgeous than his former robust athetlic one.
Her months of celibacy in conjunction with her raging pregnant hormones were pushing her ravage him, but she knew that intimacy was probably very unlikely in the immediate future. The last time Tyler had seen her she was thin and fit, she in no way resembled the flatulent, bloated round version of herself that sat before him now. He was excited about the baby and Bianca figured that the loss of physical attraction on his behalf was only to be expected, that this sort of attraction could return after the baby was born and her figure returned to its former, in the meantime it was replaced with anticipation of the new life that was coming. She expected that her body was little more to him than an incubator growing this life, respected but certainly not sexually provacative. That pained her, it was a brand new pregnancy side effect for her, she hadn't had to consider before. She felt connected to every other pregnant woman in the world, because this was something only they would sympathize with. How unfair that Tyler had lost weight while she was packing it on. The universe dropped another marble in the scale of justice on Tylers behalf.
It was a warm and sunny afternoon, Austin was wet and bright green in contrast to the wet black asphalt from the rain the night before, the rain that had forced Tyler to slip into the terrifying black hooded sweatshirt he was wearing when he entered her apartment early that morning. The air was fragrant with wet earth and new yet perfectly aged romance. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky it was a perfect metaphor. The calm after the storm, the troubling moisture evaporating into the heavens and leaving behind only renewal.
Bianca thought back to Oxford, to the kitchen of Tyler's house and the wedding announcement from her father. How Tyler had said that June was fat, and that Bianca would still be perfect even pregnant, she was glad now that she had defended June to him. She had never forgotten that exchange, she avoided any maternity clothes with floral prints because of the picture on that announcement.
"Well Ms. Shelk, i should note that you would be Mrs. Holt by now...had you not abandoned me, let's get on with this explanation." Tyler said casually throwing his arm on the back of the booth he was sitting in, and sipping his coffee. Here we go thought Bianca, she was unsure where to begin but decided to just start talking and let the words fall however they may.
"I have cancer." Bianca surprised herself, she hadn't invisioned those being the first words out and they sounded so casual, it was the first time she had said those words. Tyler sat quiet and pensive across the table waiting for more. "Pretty serious cancer. Like my mom." Tyler leaned on the table on both of his elbows, his coffee cup in front of his mouth. "When I collapsed trying on wedding gowns, well, when I went to the hospital, that's when I first learned of it...and the pregnancy." Tyler still watched her silently from over his coffee mug so she continued. "I didn't tell you then because the scope of it was still pretty unclear, but when you went to Jackson I went to the specialist I was referred too and found out it was pretty advanced. The doctors were all advising that I terminate the pregnancy and have all of my affected organs removed..."
"Don't dumb it down babe. My father's a surgeon, remember? So you mean a hysterectomy right?" Tyler interupted. Bianca thought for a moment about telling Tyler of his father's involvement that day, about how Bufford had been the one who delivered the first devastating blow of cancer knowledge and had been the provider her referrals, but she didn't see any need to complicate the story with those details yet, she just wanted to get it all out.
"Sorry, right, yes a hysterectomy. Well obviously that would mean no babies in our future, not in any traditional sense."
"My mother, she knew about this?"
"Yes, and she wasn't happy."
"And she told you to leave?"
"No, I left on my own. I didn't want you to have a wife riddled with cancer and I knew I wasn't going to abort and there was question then about if the baby could even make it if I began trying to manage my cancer right away like the doctors were suggesting. I felt like any way I sliced it you ended up with a really sour outcome."
"So you thought it in my best interest to leave me. You thought the best thing for me was to never know about your cancer or our baby? Who am I to you? You thought that I would be happier without you, then with you while you were sick. Wait, are you treating the cancer, what treatment are you undergoing?" Tyler was coming at her full speed ahead.
"Yes. I have seen cancer play out Tyler. I watched my father suffer every moment of it with my mother. As far as the baby, I wanted to protect you, incase...well, incase I lost it. My doctor, she has said holding off on all treatment until the baby comes is a feasible option. So, no I'm not being treated but there is a plan in place now and one I feel pretty good about." Tyler was silent for a few moments staring into his empty mug that was now sitting on the table.
"You were wrong Bianca. I love you. I would have loved you the same, you leaving me is the most horrible thing I have ever felt. I want you healthy or sick, pregnant or not, sterile, bald, paralyzed. I love you."
"I see that now babe," Bianca reached over and grabbed his hand. "I am so sorry, I wasn't thinking straight, i was confused and scared and in no position to feel anything really, but being with you now is the happiest I have been since this all began. But there's a little more. I don't know how to say it so I'm just going to say it straight. I accepted a large sum of money from your mother to stay away from you and not sully your future in politics." Tyler slowly raised his eyes to hers the intesinity in them obvious.
"What." He asked visibly furious.
"I needed the money, I'm sorry. The things she was saying...her plan...she didn't want the baby, she--"
"How much did she give you?" He asked emotionless
"100,000 dollars" Bianca nearly whispered her head hanging in shame. More silence from Tyler. The waitress approached the table with a coffee pot to refill Tylers mug and take their order. He covered his glass and waved her away.
The only sound Bianca could hear was the song playing in the diner. She had heard it before, several times on her way to Austin founit applicable to her situation:
"How do I say goodbye to my heart, how do I give up on you, you have to feel it too, just get to know me, let me just know you."
Finally Tyler spoke. " I like this song alot"
Bianca smiled "I do too." She said. They listened quietly to the song for a moment before Tyler spoke again " well I'll be damned, i never thought she was capable of it. My brother, he told me she propositioned Avery once, but I never really believed it. He said that's why Avery took that transfer to Atlanta."
"I signed something"
"It doesn't matter. None of it does. I'm done with that woman, but I'm not done with you."
Bianca felt her face flush, she didn't know where this could possibly go.
"Darlin' I'm never gonna be done with you, never. I'm not going anywhere. I think I'm going to like Austin."
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